I used to love reading about Christianity. I loved talking about it, answering questions, ignoring fallacies. I know a great deal. At least I think I do. I loved it. I realize how safe it was for me. It was my default religion. Jehovah was a default god. I knew a lot, I even cried at the altar a few times. But now it’s so far from me. I miss the certainty I had in it. I miss not questioning things. Jesus is God, God is the Holy Sprit. The Holy Sprit is Jesus.
Things that made no sense were said to be to big for us to understand. Now, I do believe there are many things that we could not begin to know, but I hated the fact that we’d never no. We’re separate from god. Our destiny to serve him, to be apart from the unchanging unfathomable all mighty God. A god of war, rain, love.
I’m making no sense. I digress. But I do miss the certainty the unwavering confidence in it. I don’t miss the hate and animosity it instilled in me against people I didn’t know. Against wars that didn’t exist. Against the world that only wanted my conversion to the dark side!
It’s funny though. The world for the most part don’t care if you join their beliefs. We did though. So we projected. Haha.
This may sound bad, I don’t hate Christianity at all. I didn’t have a dramatic break from it(not that dramatic anyway). I just kinda glided along. It’s a fantastic religion that has helped a lot of people, saved a lot of people and comforted a lot of people. But I guess it just wasn’t for me.
~B
