This Junk Food Will Kill Me

I got a job at Big Lots as a cashier/re stocker/janitor?, yeah all the employees share pretty much the same duties. IDK how I feel about that. I’m mad because it doesn’t pay shiiiit, but it’s better than nothing I suppose. I’ll still look I think. Yeah, it’s the holiday season, there should be jobs downtown.

Sooo, I’m 18 now. I feel, a bit different. Like I’m included in the adult world. Not by much though. I still feel like I’m stuck in a limbo. I need to go to college next year. Hell right now. I can’t stand how isolated I feel. Maybe my job will help me feel more connected.

I feel like I can do more stuff, well legally at least. Not much, just view naked pictures. Not all of them pornographic, just some. That and the fact that I have my own computer makes me feel like I have more freedom. Especially with my helicopter parents, that think something’s always out to get us. Bah

I keep eating bad junk food, I also lost a lot of weight. I’m proud that I did. I’m not eating much. Even though I know that beauty standards are stupid. I still like being skinny and pretty. Oh Vanity.

Celebrate

Today is The Hindu/IndoPagan festival called Diwali. It is also my birthday. I got a new computer. An Acer. It’s nice. My mom bought it for me. I used it to talk to my older sister on skype, it was difficult to get to work though. But it did.

I’m 18 now, and listening to Yann Tiersen’s Au Dessous Du Volcan. It’s thinking music, the kind that makes your spirit swirl and take you places that don’t exist. It’s a good way to end an alright birthday.

Simple Things

There are a lot of things in the world that make me angry, things that upset my mood or ruin my day. Books would not be one of those things.

I love book, I love looong books. Books that take me forever to read. That’s an accomplishment, I can read a 200-300 page average size book in a day. When I really like it, I can read more than that. Books are fantastic because you get to be someone else, you get to go places that don’t exist, meet people who aren’t real and fall in love with things far away.

I haven’t been reading much in the past couple of months. I did read Siddhartha, I downloaded it onto my phone. It was a very good novel, I didn’t much like the first part. But towards the end I understood, why he wrote it like he did.

~Produce.