In Which Somthing Happens.

My job has been pretty uneventful till a couple of nights ago when I heard someone try to get my attention. “Excuse me do you know where the candles are?” I look up expecting to see a stranger, but I didn’t. “Yeah just keep walking that way till you hit the wall”. “Thank you” she replied.

My head raced. Seriously, I could not keep my thoughts straight! Maybe she doesn’t work here, maybe she works somewhere else that requires a vest just like ours.  Maybe I should consider finding another job. Barnes and Nobles would hire me now, I’m finally 18! No, it’s the holiday season, everyone is looking for seasonal workers, but if I’m really good, they’d keep me! No, no this is silly, as a Buddhist this makes me a bad person… well I’m not really a Buddhist am I? If I was I’d be a terrible one. Well, what the hell universe, do you think this is funny! I hear you laughing! This is like a bad English comedy… Bah it probablly wasn’t even her. I’m being silly. It was just some one with the same tacky hair as her.

 

It wasn’t. But nothing came of it, so it’s okay. I also worked on Black Friday, 10hours, that wasn’t bad either.

WTF is Ethnic Food?

It irritates me to no end when people say this. Is it Indian? Carribean? Morrocan? You can’t just divide foods into a white and non white category. Every culture’s food is unique. Slapping such a general ugly label on them is incredible disrespectful. If you like ethic food so much, why don’t you try learning the proper name.

This Junk Food Will Kill Me

I got a job at Big Lots as a cashier/re stocker/janitor?, yeah all the employees share pretty much the same duties. IDK how I feel about that. I’m mad because it doesn’t pay shiiiit, but it’s better than nothing I suppose. I’ll still look I think. Yeah, it’s the holiday season, there should be jobs downtown.

Sooo, I’m 18 now. I feel, a bit different. Like I’m included in the adult world. Not by much though. I still feel like I’m stuck in a limbo. I need to go to college next year. Hell right now. I can’t stand how isolated I feel. Maybe my job will help me feel more connected.

I feel like I can do more stuff, well legally at least. Not much, just view naked pictures. Not all of them pornographic, just some. That and the fact that I have my own computer makes me feel like I have more freedom. Especially with my helicopter parents, that think something’s always out to get us. Bah

I keep eating bad junk food, I also lost a lot of weight. I’m proud that I did. I’m not eating much. Even though I know that beauty standards are stupid. I still like being skinny and pretty. Oh Vanity.

Celebrate

Today is The Hindu/IndoPagan festival called Diwali. It is also my birthday. I got a new computer. An Acer. It’s nice. My mom bought it for me. I used it to talk to my older sister on skype, it was difficult to get to work though. But it did.

I’m 18 now, and listening to Yann Tiersen’s Au Dessous Du Volcan. It’s thinking music, the kind that makes your spirit swirl and take you places that don’t exist. It’s a good way to end an alright birthday.

Simple Things

There are a lot of things in the world that make me angry, things that upset my mood or ruin my day. Books would not be one of those things.

I love book, I love looong books. Books that take me forever to read. That’s an accomplishment, I can read a 200-300 page average size book in a day. When I really like it, I can read more than that. Books are fantastic because you get to be someone else, you get to go places that don’t exist, meet people who aren’t real and fall in love with things far away.

I haven’t been reading much in the past couple of months. I did read Siddhartha, I downloaded it onto my phone. It was a very good novel, I didn’t much like the first part. But towards the end I understood, why he wrote it like he did.

~Produce.